The Five of Swords, in tarot, makes me think of the phrase “in a fight.”
That phrase makes it seem a fight is a place — or a state — you find yourself in. Do you get to the fight by traveling (as in, I am “in Spain”)? Or, like a storm, does a fight land on you, surround you, envelop you?
At a certain point, when the fight starts to become fun (and you’re lying if it doesn’t, sometimes, become exhilirating), an identity hardens around the “in” part of “in a fight.” You want to be in. There, the world is heightened. You have a purpose, finally: Defending yourself, being right. You are someone occupied: You are in a fight, and you can’t extricate yourself from that heightened state to a world that is duller.
How do you leave a fight? Do you have to travel away purposefully? OR do you wait for the storm to pass and grab a towel when it does?
The Five of Swords is about what is left when the fight ends. The cuts and scabs and bruises. The moments and sentences you’ll press on to see if they still hurt. It’s about what you let linger and for how long.
Even if you were right, you didn’t win.
I wrote this poem in my notes app a few months ago and it spoke to the feeling evoked by the Five of Swords: Turmoil and the trek back to peace.
Five of Swords
Fights with you
are like waking up in a new bed in a place i’ve never been and finding my way back with no map, no phone, just the smell of the coffee we drank on a morning when we liked each other. Sometimes I wake up in the building next door and I’m back in an hour. Sometimes it’s a town over and I’m home before dark. And sometimes it’s a village in a country across an ocean and I look out the window to a street waking up, and I wonder what it would be like to wander there, in the wrong direction, for a while.
Below, find a brief catch-up on my tarot story project.
How will it go? I will choose a tarot card. I will write a story, poem or meditation. I will send it out.
Will I do it every day? No, probably not. But I’ll do it often enough that you can expect to see my email in your inbox more often.
Why am I doing this? Because it seems like fun middle finger to ChatGPT, and because a creative writing exercise that will kickstart my longer projects. This is a continuation of the project that I started on my Instagram, @kefi_tarot, during the pandemic. This is a way for me to access the creative engine that sometimes is unde a layer of ice (and by ice I mean fear).
Who is this for? Me, but I’m so happy you are here with me. I hope these stories make an opening into tarot’s archetypes and allow you to start seeing the ways archetypes and stories uphold our lives and the peoplein them.
Can I submit a card? Yes, in the comments, or send me a message.