This is the second edition of my tarot advice column. I pulled the cards before I took a trip to California and am only reading them after. I haven’t tried a reading with such a long lag. Let’s see how it goes!
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Question
I have 2 beautiful sons, the older one I totally get and we know where we stand with each other. My younger son is 13 and a different personality to his brother and myself. He doesn’t share much of what’s going on for him. He’s intelligent but very quiet. Sometimes I’m not sure what to say to him or how to connect with him on a deeper level. I honestly I am not sure what he thinks of me. How can I best connect with him and build on deepening our relationship?
Deck
I used Rachel True’s True Heart Intuitive Tarot.
Cards
Did someone say fire? I pulled…
The Knight of Wands
The Five of Wands
The Seven of Wands
I also pulled one final recap or guidance card and it was Temperance, a very different energy.
Put it together, what does it all mean?
Well, when three Wands cards pop up, we have to pay attention. There is a figure that aligns with the querent’s son — the Knight of Wands. Anyone can be the Knight of Wands but the card is often associated with young men. Then there are two Wands cards, depicting different sides of a fight. I’ll get to those soon.
Knight of Wands: “My younger son is 13 and a different personality to his brother and myself”
Interpretation: The Knight of Wands is very much his own person. He is the pioneer of the Wands suit, moving forward in his own direction. The card is associated with travel and independence. Perhaps this is someone who is moving away from a family home in search of is own adventure. The kind of person who is here but already gone.
Five of Wands: “Sometimes I’m not sure what to say to him or how to connect with him on a deeper level”
Interpretation: Fives in the tarot indicate conflict, and the Five of Wands is no exception. The conflict here — to me — is not as cutting or as serious as the Five of Swords counterpart. I often think of it as play fighting or letting off steam. Still: It’s draining. You feel like you’re in conflict for no reason.
Imagery: In this rendering of the Five of Wands, there’s a sense of tangling — but it’s all caught up in the same person. In other decks, the fighting is between a few people. The conflict in this card, due to this imagery, is more internal. There is a sense of overthinking involved.
Something I think it’s important to note is that the Five of Wands’ fighting doesn’t really have a purpose. This isn’t noble fighting. It’s like pent up energy releasing itself, or a mind prone to worrying tangling itself up. It’s that principle in physics that, when left alone, something will always become more chaotic. This is definitely a card to identify and move away from.
Seven of Wands
Interpretation: What is the result of all of this Five of Wands fighting? The Seven of Wands: The card of the perpetual offense. I read a book saying the keywords for this card are Stand your ground. It comes up when you feel you have an adversary. What you do, when the Seven of Wands comes up, is to remain the bigger person and not stoop to other people’s levels. I guess in this case, not stoop to your 13-year-old’s level – and to rise above the temptation of conflict. Seven of Wands has the bravery and nobility that the Five of Wands is lacking. You have good judgement.
Resist the urge to think about how you are not connecting. Resist the urge to change the other person. Instead concentrate on being an example. This card comes up when someone else is trying to assert dominance or undermine you. Remember who you are: The leader!
Imagery: The woman in this card looks bored. She looks like she can handle whatever arrows are being flung at her. Her adversary is no match for her. Which leads me to think….maybe they’re not adversaries at all. Maybe this position that you feel like you’re in with your son, that you can’t connect, is an illusion. Maybe you should put down your shield, give him a hug, and see what happens.
Temperance
It’s nice that this card came up to tie it all together. This is the opposite of the Wands’ fire. It’s more patient. It’s less concerned with shaking things up to find a solution and more about creating a calm present, fertile ground for a solution to arise.
The Wands are so invested in outcomes; Temperance knows life is long and unpredictable. We can control ourselves in the moment. We must keep doing that and be patient as we wait for an outcome to unfold.
Temperance wants you to find a sense of inner peace with the situation whatever it may be and know that things are going to change.
Just like you’re able to defend yourself in the Seven of Wands, this is an indication that you can achieve a sense of peace with what is a frustrating disconnect.
This to me indicates that the path is not action but peace and closeness will come in time.