I always tell people, when I’m giving readings, that this spread won’t predict the future. It will predict the steps you take now that will get you to the future, maybe. It’s a temperature check for the present. And so on and so on.
I tell people that. When I do, I believe it.
It’s harder to tell myself that. Harder to believe it.
It’s a part of why I don’t give myself readings too often. I don’t want to start thinking that the cards can tell me what comes next.
Still, once in a while, I look into the well tarot offers and see if my emotions are reflected back there.
The night before my wedding was that type of occasion. Of course.
I limited myself to three cards. When they came out, I laughed at how accurate they were.
The Hanged Man
The 10 of Wands
The Lovers (!)
The story came to me fast, the way you can sometimes read a whole sentence in one flash. I had been waiting. I was now tired. But the wait and the exhaustion would be worth it: He was at the end of the aisle.
The spread validated the melancholy and anxiety I had felt through the whole engagement. It’s almost like a purgatory. Or maybe like a gangplank. Or maybe like a tunnel. You hope there is light on the other side (and the Lovers, to me, indicated there would be).
You’re supposed to be happy, but you feel like you’re walking toward this looming … change. I was ready to arrive, is what tarot told me. I was ready to change. After all that waiting, some of it uncomfortable, I was ready to rise to the occasion. The Lovers reminded me of why I was here and what I was doing: It wasn’t for the show or the pageantry, but to recognize the miracle of connection.
The 10 of Wands, the only minor arcana card, was notable, too. This comes when the vitality and passion of the wands suit no longer seems like a gift but a burden. When too much of a good thing is a bad thing. As the “bride,” I felt like I bore the brunt of responsibility of this very good thing. The wedding took over my brain (OK, OK, I let it). After work I dealt in spreadsheets and worried about table settings. I wondered where “I” went.
Now that the wedding is over, I feel like I’ve transitioned into the 10 of Pentacles, a more settled conclusion.
Further evidence of tarot’s incredible powers. Two years exactly before that wedding pull (November 10, 2021) I did a pull about my then boyfriend — Dave. We had started dating about three weeks before.
In that spread, I got two aces (pentacles and cups) and the Prince of Cups. This was all about beginnings. Something new was forming: Something emotionally resonant, but solid. And eve though he was an earth sign, the guy was not boring. The Prince of Cups never is!
The takeaway? Pull your cards. Take pictures of spreads. They are like photos of your emotional state — ones that only you will be able to decipher.
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Update on my Instagram
I’ve been locked out of my Instagram account (GRRR!). While I work on that, I’ll be spending more time on Substack and contemplating if I should relaunch the gram entirely. We’ll see. I’m accepting this as something that will make sense one day — even if it’s devastating now.
I love this! Thank you for sharing!